As we near the end of our study on purity I am excited to share these beautiful thoughts from a dear friend of mine. Our precious sister-in-Christ shared much from her heart, so the ellipsis stand for sections where words have been removed for lack of space! I hope you will be blessed by her thoughts and deep longing to encourage you in purity and point you to Christ! From knowing her personally, I can tell you that she lives out the beautiful purity she writes about here, by God's grace in her life! May you be blessed. Christina
'You can do it; you can keep yourself pure'. It's a message I have heard so many times....and for so long, I bought it.
…Purity for the sake of purity is not enough; no. It will never be enough. God's standard of purity is so high, so deep, so wide, and so majestic, that we can never reach, can never touch, can only begin to know what it really even is. We get glimpses of it when we read in Revelation John's description of Jesus in His purified form.
And I ask you, sisters in Christ, regardless of how pure you are, whether you wear a purity ring, whether you have studied books on purity, gone to seminars, have parents, mentors, and siblings that help you stay accountable, regardless of what you believe about kissing before marriage; could you truly stand before your God today and say that you are completely pure in every aspect of your life? I'm not just talking about chaste purity. I'm talking about every other aspect of your life that isn't about waiting for your spouse, like obeying your parents, having an awesome attitude 24/ 7, and every other area of our lives. Because it's not just that kind of purity to which God calls us. Could you stand before Him now, this moment, and say in your own strength,'I did it, God. I'm pure.'
I know I could not.
Marriage to a good, excellent, Godly young man is something I have always desired. And if you're any bit the romantic that I am, pushing it aside enough with self talk like 'You can do it; you can be pure', becomes rather discouraging! And then with all of that, to know that we will one day stand before The Lord, who is purer than the purest purity we can ever imagine, and answer to Him in this just as for every other area, is daunting. As girls, the physical aspect of purity is not so much the danger as is saving yourself emotionally for that one man God has for you. For me, it's always been wanting a Prince Charming with whom I can share my heart.
Thankfully I had (still do have :) amazing parents and family, and God has always been faithful in giving His Spirit for the strength in keeping this emotional (and of course physical) purity. Even in that, I feel that as a romantic, my own mind and heart constantly wanted that relationship. But there was more to it than that.
For years, I had this notion that IF I was good, THEN The Lord would honor me in the way of getting married! So, the more I was trying to stay away from the opposite gender and showed God that I could do this purity thing, the closer I would be to Him rewarding me in this area.
As a teen, my intentions were genuine; I thought that if I tried really hard, I could be pure enough that God would give me my future husband. So it became a game with God; the more I put effort into purity, the more God must give me that man! If got to the point where I wouldn't even talk to guys because I wanted God to think I was being good so He would grant this to me.
But God is not a God that plays games with His children like that....and neither does He like being played! And the problem was that I started being dishonest with God. I was literally telling Jesus, the Creator of all things who willingly took my place on the Cross, that I was ok with this singleness thing. Truthfully? Nothing was farther from the truth. I was NOT ok with it. Not only that; I was beginning to resent God because even though I was doing everything within MY power to be pure, no Prince Charming was on the horizon. Not even a good boy my age!
… I actually got to the point where I was crying out to God saying the thing I thought a pure young lady could never say:
'God, I can't do this anymore.' It wasn't the purity aspect that was bothering me. I thought God was letting me down. 'Here I have been so pure before You, Jesus. I have never said, done, or touched anything You commanded me not to!' And it was true. I hadn't. I had been chaste and pure. 'So why don't You honor Your Word?'
…I wasn't ready to trust. Actually, I even told Him, 'I can't honestly tell You that I do.'
I walked away from that time more troubled than anything else and went on with life.
Mothers who really love Jesus are treasures. Truly. One night a few weeks later, we were talking, as we often do. I told her I was really lonely and expected to hear what I have read and been told all my life and always submitted to in the past, but was growing more restless to do more recently. 'Wait'.
But that wasn't what she said. Instead, she told me something I'm never going to forget.
'God puts this desire in young people so that they GET MARRIED. He's allowing you to feel lonely, because there's a young man out there who's also feeling lonely, and the Lord is going to bring you together while you are lonely. He's not putting you to the test because He wants to. He's got someone for you. Pray for it to happen, and trust that the God that cares for you and loves you will answer you.'
She had no idea how much I needed to hear that! And I am doing that, sisters. Of course, this definitely does NOT mean that a guy will ever be my all in all. But God CANNOT COME into the depths of the heart to BE your All in All, if there is any area where you do not trust Him with something so near and dear to your heart.
A few days later, on my drive to work, the Holy Spirit spoke again, and I'd like to encourage all you single ladies in this:
'What my God says, my God also does. What my God does, He doesn't stop doing it until He's finished. And when my God is finished....there is NO turning back!'
It remains to be seen how this will play out. But ever since I have prayed to God and been honest with Him about it, He He has shown me the joy of His presence in a very real way.
So, be pure, but don't do it to BE pure. Do it because you love The Lord...and don't do it on your own. God really cares about those desires of the heart; He created them. Your God may have you wait, and if He does, He is God. Who can say different? But in that waiting, be honest with Him. Talk to Him about what is going on in you. Not that our walk with the Lord is about us; it's not. But He cares. And in that care, just like a loving parent, He wants to know what's going on with His child even in the middle of His denial of your desire. He may say 'wait' or 'no', but He also wants you to cry and lean on HIS shoulder. If you are not depending on the Lord in this area, you may stay pure, but when you do meet a guy, you may just be so desperate because you think you have been pure enough and deserve it, that the point will be more 'oh; someone is interested; I'm saying yes to this!' Rather than 'this guy really loves The Lord. I can honor, respect, obey, love, and follow this man as unto The Lord.' Whether you are eighteen or twenty four, what you are waiting for is the same thing, if you really love Jesus. And find a sister in The Lord to encourage in this issue. As you encourage, you will also feel the joy of The Lord in this area! Besides, she needs it, too!
...A good married friend's mom once said something in my hearing that deeply affected me.
'Those that stay pure are God's bride, to be presented to Him, in purity. That's Who you're waiting for when you're single!'
So the next time you're about to say, 'I'm staying pure for my future husband', or 'Because it's a rule at my house', say instead, 'I'm staying pure to be presented a Holy Bride to The Lord God when He returns'.
Because it's true. Purity in all forms is for the Glory of God, not just to make a good sweet Christian marriage testimony.
Fellow sisters in Christ, this is profound:
You CAN'T be pure. You CAN'T be good in your own strength. That is self- help, and it doesn't work even when you try your hardest. It just builds resentment. You CAN commit your way to The Lord (Psalm 34:5), and you CAN do everything not to get a future spouse, but to obtain the Glory of The Lord here on earth. And in doing that, you WILL find the Lord faithful in giving you the right tools to get to that altar of promise, (and faithful in GETTING you to that altar!!!) to be presented to that man of God for whom you have kept yourself. But it WON'T be because you kept yourself. It WILL be because your heart was on The Lord, and He gave you both the strength to say no, and the courage to take the steps right to that man, and to saying 'yes'!
THIS IS ABSOLUTELY NOT THE ONLY AREA OF LIFE WHERE THIS APPLIES! God sent His Son to die to give us strength to be presented a pure bride in EVERY area of life, whether it's keeping ourselves for the right man, or mowing the lawn joyfully when asked (or when not asked ;) We CAN'T do this Christianity walk correctly in our own strength, and in looking to a how to book to teach us, we'll fail miserably. We will succeed only when it's NOT our success that we're dependent upon. We are successful when we look to and rely on THE LORD!
And if you do yearn in your heart for a man of God today, don't read a book about what you should do; talk to God about it!...
Yes, I very much desire a man of God in my life, and yes I desire it sooner than later. But I know better now than to subscribe to a method of purity as my guide. Rather, I will look to The Lord my God. And in His strength I will keep this purity, with which I will someday be presented unto Jesus, a clean bride, not for my own efforts, but for His leading and love. And in that, to my future husband :)
...Sisters of purity, we are such because we have something girls of the world don't have; FAITH. It takes faith to trust God for something so important as meeting the right one! And I believe that I, just as you sisters, will meet that one! And in our wait, let us turn to God for our sustenance before trying to be a living testimony to the world. Because He died so that we wouldn't HAVE to depend on our strength.
It will show!
Love,
A fellow sister in Christ Jesus Christ
